Stygiomedusa Gigantea
17/2/26 @ 18:00 ahh i find venting online a little embarrassing for me personally but i also don't want to bottle up my feelings ... or burden my friends with my issues ... so my sadness is being dumped into the internet void ! i have been feeling so so awful these past few days and i dont know why ;_; im starting to isolate myself again its not on purpose really but it frustrates me a lot i dont know why i do this to myself ... the only friend i hang out with consistently hasnt been hanging out with , or on that note even talking to me much ... it actually really hurts but i think im just sensitive and i get attached to people too easily i dont know what my issue is ... its all in favor of this person she has a crush on and im just really upset , not in the way that i have a crush on her (im aro ace, lol) but i just feel replaced . i hate this feeling ;_; i keep stressing myself out by overthinking everything , im sure its not on purpose but im just so ... ugh i dont know . its been really hard for me to stay clean recently which is just the icing on the cake , i can hardly go more than a day without relapsing again and i dont know what happened i dont know why this is suddenly happening to me again ... im just so overwhelmed by all my emotions i want my mind to shut up CW: this vent contains brief mentions of s/h
ahh i haven't worked on this website in a bit but i changed up the theme ! fun ! i wanted to make it a lot lighter blue since i'm just so indecisive with my themes , i also gave up on making iframes work because it is so inconvenient to code ... anywho i don't have much to update on ! school has started again and it's very stressful and draining, especially with my exams coming up in just a few months ... very stressful . the time came so much faster than i was expecting ! i still feel like i'm in y7 sometimes ;_; on the topic of school i got accepted into the college course i was hoping for ! yay ! i am quite nervous as i'm doing applied science , i don't know if i can live up to the expectations of everyone around me and it's stressing me out ... i've been trying to get back my motivation for my creative hobbies like drawing and writing since i've had so little motivation or time to indulge in them but it's difficult ... sigh i feel like i have no motivation left ! i constantly feel tired and drained . i wish i could just stay in bed all day and play games ;_; alas that's not how the world works ... i hope i start feeling a little better once the weather starts getting nicer , winter seriously brings my mood down so much ! i hate the winter ... i want it to be summer already ...
26/12/25 @ 22:00
Merry (late) Christmas to all who celebrate! I'm currently in Hungary for the holidays! We went by car instead of plane this time around, so the journey was around 2 days long (which dragged on by the end...it was super fun though!) We stopped in Frankfurt, Germany for a night, and I really liked the place! I definitely wanna visit it properly one day... I got a laptop for my birthday (11th Dec), so it's the reason I decided to start up a new website! I'm very happy with how this one has been turning out so far, my other neocities sites were..a mess, to put it lightly. I don't really know what people write in their blogs, I don't have anything interesting enough going on in my life, honestly. I've been getting really into Umamusume lately! I've been trying to stray away from tetro a little, which does hurt because the series means a lot to me, especially tetro pink, but it's fine, I've kind of naturally been losing interest anyway. Can you guys guess my favourite uma? Definitely a very hard question...she's definitely not plastered all over my site...